let go
a controlled disequilibrium will only give way to an uncontrolled spiral into chaos.
love, is letting go.
a mere sacrifice
it’s far from the ideal conclusion, but once the student card arrives, it puts a definite end to the thought that i may actually still have a choice of school.
it used to be much simpler, a straightforward decision of picking the school you wanted to go to the most. you work towards it, get accepted, everyone’s pleased, and you’re happy.
that was when your life revolved around your education, but right now, there are things of greater importance than school.
misdirected anger
it is too easy to be lured by the temptation of attributing failures to external factors and take none of the blame. that is a distraction from the heart of your issue. the truth remains that your crash is your fault. the government, society and luck form the runway towards individual success, but you control your plane and your take-off. you will never stop moving forward if you are willing to invest the effort to get yourself up to speed.
however, it is critical to recognize that while you may have failed, you are not a failure. the failure is in the mistakes that you have made, and is never absolute until you believe that you are the failure.
expeditiously
transitions, in preceding change, are simply periods of zero productivity where no real progress is made. i’m just not doing it fast enough, and i need to get something done about this.
A Long Time Coming
It’s probably getting old hearing about how the army leaves the mind to degenerate, but it’s precisely the lack of the need to use the brain that has given much space and time to thinking. I feel like I’ve already made more realisations this year than ever before, especially when it comes to firming up the future path.
Having said that, enough has happened this year to warrant a break. This only reinforces how crucial it is to find a job you enjoy because you have real passion for it, and a job that presents sufficient meaningful opportunities. At least I can take comfort in knowing that this is temporary, and in that I now know better, for life.
time again
i desperately need to move productivity into my subconscious, and inertia and inaction out of it.
static
I NEED TO GET DOWN TO GETTING THINGS DONE
it’s like my body is a kid and my mind is acting as mum but you soon realise that mummy can never keep up with kiddo.
crossing over
it’s a day to february and the december rain lingers on. when does the new year begin?
january has been excessively stagnant, and despite promises of change it’s still the old story. with this guilt, i hope i’m going to be spurred into some productive action. right now, i’ve got my direction but i need to get moving.
individual service
i think i over-indulge in sentimentality sometimes, but there’s simply something about endings that sets me off.
i have a corollary to the last post – that 2010, in summary, was an outlier. it broke many expectations i had coming into the year, and though at times threatened to derail the entire experience, surprisingly ended somewhere that feels just about right. it’s been different, and i’m glad for it even though it hasn’t offered any new certainty for the coming years. i just wonder if this is a sign that i should continue to relish the flux.
departures
a year that has struck as many new highs as there were lows, condensed into a single evening. there’s too much to be thankful for, and it’s difficult to see where we’re all headed now.
it’s unbelievable how comfortable it has become, and how much we’ve progressed to arrive at this moment. perhaps, it’s finally the right time to move on. this haven is complete.
